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'My favorite part of the show was when he took off his shirt.dreamy.' As if to accent the comment, she made a sweeping motion across her brow with one hand-- wiping away invisible sweat-- while the other deftly locked itself around the steering wheel.

Agitated-- she knew I was being forced to see a band I had no true interest in-- there was surprisingly little hesitation in her voice when she asked, 'Didn't you enjoy it?' Its not as if The Dandy Warhols and I have any bad blood between us, but my previous exposures to the band have been sordid to say the very least.

True, I met my significant other and eternal concert partner while absentmindedly reviewing Thirteen Tales of Urban Bohemia for my college radio station-- her noticing the empty jewel-case beside my bag and inquisitively approaching me as I listened-- but those tunes have waned appreciably over the years, turning balanced neutrality into mild disparity at the mere mention of Courtney Taylor's troupe. Add to this sentimental nostalgia my recent concert attendance, and my initially lukewarm feelings of distaste mutate into venomous and irascible abhorrence.

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Petty as it may be, I fully admit that I am not above disliking a band based solely on the fact that they cater to my fears of inadequacy as a male and mate. Of course, the only reason I mention this is to caution the patient reader against lambasting my opinion of Welcome To The Monkey House based solely upon the above numerical rating and any personal adherence one may have to Dandy-ism. While it's true that I hold damning grudges against some musicians for no other reason than misdirected machismo (guilty feelings? Mere jealousy?), I would never pan the actual music if it fairly displayed some amount of talented songwriting and quality. To wit, I would sooner punch every member of the Saddle Creek family in the nose-- barring The Faint and Now It's Overhead-- than shake their hands or say hello, yet I continue to surreptitiously purchase and endorse every recent Bright Eyes release.

Thus, believe the heart of this kindred music-lover when I state that Monkey House is comparable to and nearly as enjoyable as a pelvic exam with chilled instruments-- seemingly fun, but shaky and ill-advised. Beginning on a warble-- the sound of Courtney Taylor's tongue drilling directly through his cheek-- the title track is a short and typical Warhols' sound that pokes fun at the fabric of pop-culture while simultaneously unraveling it. Flippantly spouting off lines such as 'When Michael Jackson dies/ We're covering Blackbird' would be laughable and forgiveable if delivered over any accompaniment other than the dry and clipping electric guitar line that the group pounds out for the song's brief temporal existence. Partly redeeming is the transition into 'We Used To Be Friends', a track that fully exhibits the aided production by Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran-fame.